On cleansing routines and identity shedding
Leaving LA, confronting emotional clutter, and finding ritual in the rinse.
I’m in the middle of a cross-country move.
I did this move in the opposite direction almost five years ago. I spent about twice that time in New York the first time around, and now I’m heading back with a completely different nervous system.
The magnitude and meaning of this deserves another letter, but for now, I am yet again purging again.
And each object I’ve accumulated asks me:
Are you still this version of yourself?
Every drawer becomes a confrontation:
Do you want to keep this, and why?
Or are you ready to let it go?
I keep catching myself holding things—expired lip glosses, an entire bag of tote bags (so. many. tote bags), a chipped IKEA bowl I’ve had for 13 years that’s survived every apartment in New York and somehow made it to LA.
It’s not just stuff. It’s sediment—layered, settled, emotional.
I’m ruthlessly editing, and it feels liberating. Overwhelming, yes—but also clarifying.
And I’ve found that the bathroom—my girly pop sanctuary, my altar of beauty and breakdowns—is where I’ve been the most cutthroat.
As a beauty industry veteran, I’ve acquired an absurd amount of product. But much like my wardrobe, I’m finding that as I age (gracefully, obviously), a tight edit of tried-and-trues is what works best. Especially when it comes to skincare.
Because when everything feels like it’s spiraling—societally, personally, energetically—I come back to something simple. Something physical. Something I can do with my hands.
I wash my face.
I have combination skin that skews dry—but the breakouts used to get gnarly. I used to treat them with aggressive toners, harsh acids, anything that promised to "clear" me. Spoiler: they just made my skin angry.
Eventually, I realized my problem wasn’t a product issue—it was a cleansing issue. I was technically washing my face, but the buildup of SPF, makeup, and city gunk was still squatting in my pores. Which meant all my expensive skincare was being layered over a mess—and essentially flushed down the drain.
Until I started double cleansing at night. It’s not just the first step. It’s the most important one.
Step 1: Oil Cleanser or Balm
Start with an oil-based cleanser or balm to dissolve makeup, sunscreen, and life residue.
My current go-to is Farmacy Clearly Clean. I’m picky—too many cleansers in this category just sit on top of your skin. This one scoops out cleanly with a tiny spatula (bless), emulsifies beautifully, and melts away every the goop of the day. Bonus: it’s formulated for sensitive skin, so it does the job without freaking your face out.
💡 Tip: I know when I’m phoning it in. But when I give myself a full, indulgent minute—sometimes two—to massage my face, I can feel and see the difference. The blood flow! The clarity!
Step 2: Gentle Foaming Cleanser
Now go in with a gentle foaming cleanser to ensure you’ve actually removed all the gunk—not just moved it around. Before I started double cleansing, I was 100% not getting everything off. I knew it because every time I swiped micellar water on a cotton pad afterward, it still came up beige from my tinted moisturizer.
I just got my hands on the new Expert Cleanser from Glowbar, created by Rachel Liverman, friend of the letter (from our Birchbox days!), and founder and CEO of Glowbar, the largest facial membership in the world. I’ve been getting facials at Glowbar since they opened six years ago, so when Rachel told me she was launching a product, I knew it would deliver the same no-BS efficacy and obsessive attention to detail that made Glowbar an icon in the beauty industry.
It’s exactly the kind of cleanser I’m always looking for: it actually cleans your face—like your skin and pores feel clear, not stripped. No tight, squeaky feeling. Just a full reset.
Star ingredients:
White Willow Bark – calms inflammation + unclogs pores
Glycolic Acid (AHA) – gently exfoliates + smooths skin
Gluconolactone (PHA) – hydrates + supports your skin barrier
Also: there’s a little peephole in the back of the bottle so you know when to refill. Genius.
Step 3: Affirm + Layer
Look at your face in the mirror. Acknowledge that you are, in fact, that bitch.
Then layer your remaining products. My current nighttime routine:
Toner or essence — I’ve been loving this Caudalie one.
Brightening serum — I have repurchased this Caudalie one, which claims to be 62x more effective than vitamin C, at least a dozen times.
Peptide serum — I’ve been rotating between this and this from The Ordinary. Also diehard for Deliverance from Dieux.
Moisturizer — This gel-cream one from Dieux plumps up my skin beautifully. My go-to in warmer months. For winter, I like something richer like this AESTURA one.
Tretinoin 0.025% — A few nights a week.
Retinol eye cream — I used to think eye cream was a scam, but after two months with this one from ROC, I look less tired, the fine lines are softer, and the price is right.
If you’re looking for ways to take care outwardly too, consider supporting the organizations doing essential work in immigration defense, legal aid, and community advocacy. These resources are from @chnge.
No one is illegal on stolen land.
Central America Resource Center
The Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights
How fucking good is the Glowbar cleanser?! The lather is LUXURIOUS.
Wow! Nothing like starting a new chapter. I’m so excited to visit you.